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Trouble Connecting? Maybe You’re Not Speaking the Right Language

20th February 2017 by Suz No comments

I hope those who chose to recognize the love-filled holiday of Valentine’s Day (whether with a significant other, a best friend, or simply with more time to practice self-care) had a great one!

In the spirit of such, I felt it was a good time to discuss the different ways to connect with someone.

From the earliest of ages we are taught The Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated. When arguments erupt in the sandbox, or siblings get into a tear, adults teach them this is the best way to get along.

I can remember getting plastic yellow rulers on the first day of school with The Golden Rule etched into the center.

But these days studies have found that treating others the way you want to be treated may not always be the best approach to getting what you want.

Sometimes to get what we want, or who we want, we are required to employ empathy and observation. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the best-selling book, “The 5 Languages of Love,” explains there are 5 different ways we accept love:

  • Words of Affirmation (hearing “I love you”)
  • Acts of Service (having someone cook us dinner)
  • Receiving Gifts (getting jewelry)
  • Quality Time (taking a weekend getaway)
  • Physical Touch (a foot massage)

Curious to know what language you speak? You can take Dr. Chapman’s evaluation [click here] to find out. While it’s important to know how you receive love, it’s crucial for your personal (and professional) relationships to realize how others receive it.

This is where The Golden Rule could use some work.

If you’re trying to connect with someone and it’s not going as planned, think about the tactics you are using. Are you appealing to how YOU would like to be dealt with? If so, take a step back. Is this person like you, or do they operate differently? Do they respond to action or to words?

Stepping out of our selves to see something from someone else’s point of view can go a long way in strengthening a connection.

Just because you know how you’d like to be treated doesn’t mean it’s a one-size-fits-all scenario.

So let’s call this the Platinum Rule, shall we?

Here’s to stronger connections in any language!



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