Why not setting limits is actually limiting you17th July 2017 by Suz • No comments
We all get tested at certain times, and it’s how we cope with it all that truly speaks to who we are as a person. Like Rafiki says, you can either run from it or learn from it.
If I’ve learned one thing it’s the importance of setting and accepting limits.
I’m a yes person. It’s hard for me to say “No” to people. And while I do think it’s important to “come from a place of yes,” it’s just as important to say no to things that either isn’t aligned with where you’re headed or simply do more harm than good. I’ve discussed boundaries before, but I feel it’s worth revisiting.
Here are 3 reasons setting limits is not just a great thing but a crucial thing:
1. People respect a person with boundaries.
Ever wonder why certain people get walked all over? Because they allow it to happen. People like to know where they stand with others.
So, if boundaries are not set, they tend to keep pushing those limits. When they feel no resistance, they keep going. You may think the person who always says yes is the one who is the most liked.
But, in reality, people like knowing where a person stands on things. Saying yes all the time doesn’t help someone else get to know what you stand for, and in the end, we trust and like what we know. Let people know what you stand for, and, more importantly, what you won’t stand for and watch how quickly you gain their respect.
2. Saying yes will wear you out.
I didn’t want to admit I had an illness. I didn’t want to admit I needed to break more than usual this summer. So, at first, I pushed even harder. After all, what kind of business person would I be if I wasn’t constantly hustling? But, as I’ve talked about before, all that does it set you further back.
Instead of saying no to certain opportunities (that didn’t help bring me closer to where I wanted to be), I burned the candle at both ends and it only made my recovery time even longer. I was moody, I was stressed, and I was not feeling any better.
Saying no allows you to only take on things that are right for you in a given moment. Being the person who does it ALL doesn’t make you the person who does it RIGHT.
3. Saying no keeps you focused
As I’m sure you know by now, I’m a big fan of monotasking. In order to be productive, a certain amount of boundaries have to be set. Tunnel vision can be a good thing when you need to be in the zone. Turn off your phone. Shut down social media. Tell your friends you won’t be able to meet for drinks tonight. Say no to the person that needs “just one more thing.”
When you set boundaries what you’re actually doing is creating a space to produce what it is you’re trying to accomplish. You’re honing in on one particular challenge and blocking out all distractions. Instead of worrying about what you might be missing out on, focus on the fact that you’re going to finish what you set out to do.
This week, I hope you are able to find ways to say no to whatever doesn’t light you up and propel you to reach your goals.
Feel free to share your journey with me with a reply or a share on social media!
Posted in: boundaries • musicbusiness • runitright