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If reaching your goals is so great then why do we often feel a mix of fear, disappointment, and confusion after the excitement of reaching them wears off? Learn ways to stay motivated after reaching the finish line!
You’re listening to Episode 43 of the Music-Preneur Mindset Podcast.
Hello! You’re listening to Episode 43 – The Pitfalls of Reaching Your Goals.
I’m your host, Suz – a mindset coach helping DIY musicians and creatives see themselves as music-preneurs in order to create a sustainable career in music.
As a mindset coach, one of the things I help music professionals with the most is setting clear goals. I often spend time with them peeling back the layers to see what’s truly important to them and what direction they’re meant to head in in order to get where they want to be.
It’s not hard to realize why goal setting is so important. Having something to work towards gives us clear direction as well as motivation to take action. It often gives us purpose and keeps us from floating around aimlessly.
In addition, when we’re able to reach those goals, that euphoric feeling of pride takes over. How great is that?!? It’s a feeling we want to chase over and over again when we’re motivated to follow our passion.
When we reach our goals our attitude and mindset shift from doubt to confidence and often set off a domino effect for future successes.
Even on our most un-motivated days, completing small tasks such as getting dressed and brushing our teeth can fill us with enough of a sense of accomplishment that we want to start doing more to continue experiencing that feeling.
That’s why we often tell those wanting to shake off a current slump to start small. Hell, I’ve even promoted putting things on your list you’ve already done so you can start crossing things off before you even get moving!
It’s true, crossing things off your list can be enough to motivate you to keep going to set new goals.
But, sometimes, when we’ve completed a large or important goal, it can have the opposite effect on us – instead of motivating us to keep going it can stop us dead in our track and cause us to feel confused and lost as to where to go next.
You put all of your time, energy, and focus into reaching a certain goal. Then you get there. Then your brain turns to mush. WTF do you go from here?
As we bring 2018 to a close it’s common to hear all of these calls to actions to set your goals for 2019, right?
Start 2019 off right!
Set those goals!
Dream big & take action!
Sure, great. But what how does all of that connect to what we’ve already accomplished? Are the goals we’re setting make sense for where we’re already headed?
We don’t often take time to reflect on what’s happened so far, what needs to change, what needs to stay the same, and what the bigger picture is.
What good are goals if they don’t serve a purpose?
Maybe you’re planning on learning the best ways to grow a following on YouTube.
Maybe you’re planning on losing weight.
Maybe you’re planning on saving up money to go on tour.
Maybe you have all of those goals and more.
Ok, awesome! Now what happens when you reach those goals? Have you set your sights on those milestones because you hear YouTube is the next frontier for musicians to make money? Do you believe losing weight will give you the confidence you’ve been lacking? Do you assume since you’re a musician you should be touring?
Many times we set goals but don’t realize we can be chasing other people’s visions and wishes for a certain career path.
Maybe someone has found that YouTube worked for them and is passionate about sharing their tips with you through a video course or even a free webinar and you watch and you’re so inspired by them you make it your goal.
But does that goal fit your overall wish for your career? What will growing a YouTube following do for you?
Once you follow their steps for success and stay focused and knock it out of the park, how will you maintain it? Do you WANT to maintain it?
Often times I’ve sat down to study a certain process and skipped over the part where I identify how that process will fit in my overall plan for my career.
Maybe you don’t know what your overall career path looks like just yet. Maybe you want to learn SOMETHING to be successful at as a musician and hope your path will reveal itself along the way.
Ok, that’s fine. I get that. You’re not expected to have all the answers just yet.
But, if you find yourself reaching goals only to feel more confused and stuck afterwards than when you began, I suggest taking a moment to reflect before you set new goals.
It’s not about being right, or being able to predict the future. But, it’s important to ask yourself, “how will this goal serve me?” “Where do I hope it leads me in the future?” “Why is this goal relevant to me?”
When we can determine WHY a certain goal is important to reach, we’re not only more likely to reach it, and reach it more quickly, but we also have a better chance at staying productive after we reach it, because there’s a larger plan in place beyond that one goal.
Maybe your goal is to win a Grammy. Ok awesome. Why? If all goes in your favor and you win that Grammy what will you do with that achievement?
Use it to get more publicity on a future project?
Use it to spread your message to a larger audience?
Use it to get the attention of someone you’ve always wanted to collaborate with?
When we set goals with the hope of finding a quick fix or a way to feel our life is complete, we’re often left with a feeling of emptiness if/when that goal is reached.
Would it feel awesome to win a Grammy? Definitely. Will it make you a better musician? Ummm I don’t think it will make you better. It doesn’t magically change your talents and plenty of incredibly talented musicians are not recognized by the Grammys.
Will it validate you as a musician? Maybe to a few elite people, but you are a musician the minute you define yourself as a musician and no award can add that or take that away from you.
Would it feel good to lose weight? Sure. Will it magically give you the confidence you need to do something you’ve been putting off? Doubtful.
Confidence isn’t defined by your weight or your clothes or bank account.
These achievements may help boost your confidence in the moment, but it’s fleeting. Confidence is a mindset that takes work and belief in yourself, at any size, with or without an award.
So is your current goal the right goal for you?
Maybe you want to lose weight because you want to be able to run for a longer period of time because you want to be able to enter into next year’s marathon or maybe because you want to get better results at your next doctor’s visit and maintain a healthier lifestyle.
Ok, that is a different purpose and losing weight can definitely create a domino effect that will allow those things in your life to happen if your current weight is keeping those things from happening.
Do you see the difference?
It’s important to make sure your goal and its purpose are in alignment with what you ultimately want for your life. Otherwise reaching those goals will leave you feeling in the dumps after that initial high wears off.
I’ve created a short worksheet for you to use to work through this very exercise, and I’ll get to that in a moment, but one of my FAVORITE tools to use to make sure the goals I set are in alignment with my overall plan for my life and career is Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.
Unfortunately it’s currently sold out, but I encourage you to go to the link in the show notes and enter you email to be notified when more are available. It’s a game changer and I end up gifting it to someone each holiday season.
It can be done at any time during the year and I find myself doing it again whenever I feel stuck.
Her approach is to focus on how you desire feeeeeling, not what you desire to have. The reason for this is exactly what I’ve just explained – when you finally have what you think is important to chase you may not feel the way you had hoped that object would make you feel.
Instead, if you focused on chasing a feeling, you’ll realize you can find that feeling in many different ways, before you even reach your intended goal/s.
It not only makes the journey to your goal more enjoyable – how great is it to feel the way you want before you’ve even achieved a certain milestone?! – but it also allows you to make more informed decisions about where you’re heading.
Let’s go back to that Grammy example. If you’ve decided you want to feel free to express yourself, and impactful in expressing that message – will a Grammy enable you to do that?
It could help you impact more people, but do you need it to be impactful?
Maybe that YouTube channel will enable you to get there, or maybe a podcast series, or maybe touring. And each of those things will create different feelings inside of you – so if you want to feel comfy and cozy in your own environment – YouTube it is!
If you want to feel that electricity being around other people – it’s time to hit the road!
Do you see the slight differences?
These differences can make a big difference when it comes to reaching these goals and feeling the way you’d hoped you’d feel when setting out to achieve them.
So as you begin preparing for the New Year, I encourage you to do a bit more digging into your overall purpose and intentions before setting out to reach certain goals.
It’s for this very reason I’ve decided to host a FREE live hangout on Friday, December 28 at 7pm EST – I want you to ROCK THE F*CK OUTTA 2019 the right way. We’re gonna have some hot cocoa, light some candles, do some time blocking exercises and also get clear on our purpose and intentions for the coming year. I’ll be going over identifying next steps, answering your questions live as we get excited for what we want to bring into our lives and what we want to keep out as well. It’ll be less of a lecture and more of a workshop, so bring your pencils, paper, or favorite tools for planning!
You don’t need to have the 2019 Rock/Star Life Planner to participate, but I have listed out in the show notes how you can get your hands on one if you’d like. There’s no course I’m upselling at this hangout. I will be letting you know the tools I have available to help you with your planning needs, but nothing is required for you to carry out these exercises other than your participation 😀 If you’d like to join me on 12/28 for our FREE planning session, simply go to www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep43 to register.
Yes, a replay will be available if you can’t make it, but coming to hang live is so much more enjoyable 😀
I’ve also added a link in the show notes to Rock/Star Slackers™, my group accountability program should you be looking for extra ongoing support this holiday season and beyond. It’s a join anytime, cancel anytime subscription program that keeps you focused on your goals with access to me when you get stuck, plus access to exclusive downloads and monthly calls with the group for only $47/mo. So go enjoy these ‘rock’sources available to help you rock the f*ck outta 2019!
Again, that page is www.therocksaradvocate.com/ep43.
Thanks so much for tuning in. Whether you join on us 12/28 or not, I hope you walk away with this one take away – no 2 paths in this industry are the same, so before you take on someone else’s goals think about how this goal serves you and your future.
It’s going to be a bumpy road regardless, but you’ve got this!
If you’re looking to figure out your next steps, find time to balance everything on your plate, or work on creating goals with intention, let’s talk!
Email me at anytime: suz@therockstaradvocate.com
Until next time, Rockstar! Have a wonderful week and I hope to see you back here next week so we can get grounded to get rising! Take care.
Key Highlights
- That feeling when we reach a goal [00:45]
- What we don’t discuss about goals [03:07]
- How to avoid the pitfalls [04:04]
- A healthy mindset moving forward [05:31]
- Tools to help you with this mindset [06:25]
- Revisiting your goals [07:31]
Links/Rocksources
- Theme music brought to you by DC-based Indie/Pop band Sub-Radio
- More podcast episodes can be found here
- You can download a copy of the episode’s transcript here
- Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map can be found here {I may receive a small referral fee if you purchase through this link}
- Need accountability? Join us in Rock/Star Slackers™
Thanks for listening!
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