How TF Did I Get Here?
It’s important to plan ahead, but sometimes life doesn’t care what you have planned and takes you down a different course. Learn why planning is still important and how to keep going after a derailment.
You’re listening to Episode 69 of the Music-Preneur Mindset Podcast.
Hello! You’re listening to Episode 69: When the Plan Doesn’t Go As Planned.
I’m your host, Suz – a mindset coach helping music professionals get clear on their goals and find the time to get it all done while maintaining a healthy work/life balance.
This episode is our last episode of Season 2 while I take a bit of a hiatus and return in November with brand new episodes for Season 3. If you’ve been with me for a while on this journey of podcasting, I thank you and I hope you’ll stick with me and come back and tune in next season! If you’re new to this podcast, welcome and hold tight, we’ll be back before you know it!
If you don’t wanna miss a thing I’m going to try very hard to refrain from belting out my favorite Diane Warren ballad Stephen-Tyler-style and let you know that you can SUBSCRIBE to this podcast via your favorite podcast platform OR by signing up to my weekly newsletter.
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I’ll be the first to admit, it was difficult getting out all of the episodes for Season 2. Honestly, I didn’t get out as many as I would have liked. I thought I’d be at LEAST at episode 75 by now… This past year it feels like NOTHING has gone as planned. I’ve learned a LOT from the trials and tribulations of plans going off course these last few months, so I figured what better note to end Season 2 with than one of transparency and hopefully one that can save you from learning things the hard way.
As a mindset coach who focuses most of her expertise on helping others create plans to follow, I know better than most that the point of planning is not to predict the future, but rather inform where to place your foot for Step 1… and hopefully Step 2… and then at some point soon after one has to reassess and determine if any pivoting or off-road-stepping needs to happen.
Plans aren’t meant to be cast in stone or followed to a T. Mapping out your career takes planning, but it also takes intuition, flexibility and trust. Sometimes you just gotta throw your arms up, hope for the best, and go with God {or Mother Earth, or Beyoncè, or whomever you choose to faithfully follow}.
You’ll never have all the answers you need to move ahead and the answers you do have now may not turn out to be accurate, but if you have enough you can begin to move forward and learn the rest as you go.
At my Summit a few weeks back I did a workshop on visualization. I even touched upon a great deal of it in the last episode, Ep68: Getting to Know Your Future Self. Visualizing what it is you want to achieve can have profound effects on your motivation and productivity towards reaching those achievements.
If I look back at my vision board that I created in January, even though certain results looked much different than I anticipated, and often happened in a different order of events, I still accomplished many of the things I set out to do, and the year’s not over yet!
So, even though my plans have felt derailed this past year, I still ended up pretty close to where I wanted to be. I attribute most of that to seeing my vision board every day on my desktop’s background and knowing EXACTLY what it was I wanted to attract into my life this year.
Things have NOT gone as planned, but that doesn’t mean it’s stopped me from reaching my goals, the path just looks a bit different and took a few more turns than expected.
Yay for me, right??? Alls well that ends well… But, even though I know the plans I’ve made aren’t meant to predict the future, I can still fall into a cloud of overwhelm and panic when my plans don’t pan out or don’t happen as quickly or as neatly as I would have hoped.
Even though I know plans can’t predict the future, it hasn’t stopped me from having meltdowns and doubts and working to silence that pesky fraud talk when nothing seemed to be going my way.
The incessant nagging voice chastising myself for not getting more podcast episodes out, or for not launching certain promotions in the way I had originally laid out, or for falling behind in my social media scheduling, or for falling out of my morning routines, the list goes on.
It’s all great when you can look back and accept that everything’s happened for a reason and you’ve learned the lessons you’ve needed to learn… bla bla bla… but what can you do when you’re IN IT?!!? When you’re deep in the midst of those twists and turns and you feel helpless???
What then?
I think it’s best if I pull back the curtain a bit for this final episode of this season and walk you through what it’s been like at The Rock/Star Advocate these past 10 months and how I’ve handled certain situations so you can get an idea of what you can do when shit hits the fan.
First off, I want to share a story from early on in my career approximately 15 years ago. If you’ve ever listened to Ep2: The Time I Quit My Job 5x, you may be familiar with my first full-time job in the industry and my complete frustration with realizing that my initial goal to work at a label wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
I bring this up because it was the first time I realized that it was ok for goals to change, for passions to change. When I realized that working at a label was something that I no longer wished to do, after it was something I had been working towards since I was 12 years old watching a Behind the Music of Russell Simmons, I was gutted.
The floor had come out from underneath me and I no longer knew what to trust. I quit my job 5x because each time I left I would return after fearing that I didn’t have the option to change my mind and follow a new dream.
The guilt, the fear of time wasted, and the feeling of being an utter and complete failure was paralyzing. It took months therapy for me to realize quitting a job that made me miserable didn’t mean I failed, it only meant that I had more information now to realize it wasn’t the opportunity that was right for me. It was the first time I accepted that plans will inevitably change as we grow and we need to learn how to embrace the unexpected and revisit what it is we want as we move forward.
I make it a point to remind myself of that moment in time whenever I feel off course because it can be easy to forget that things going “as planned” don’t automatically mean you’re on the quickest path to success.
Like I said, a large part of being a successful entrepreneur is attributed to one’s ability to be flexible and roll with the punches, and to trust in the process. When we chase plans rather than results we can easily become too rigid for our own good.
My plans went out the window directly from day 1 of 2019. New Year’s Eve was supposed to be a special evening with my two college roommates to kick off this year with a single ladies’ night out.
We found this fantastic deal in Queens. There were two options for us to choose that night: American Night or Polish Night. Polish night had more food options and had an outside balcony so we thought that was a no-brainer.
We didn’t realize, however, that Polish Night didn’t just mean kielbasa and kruschiki at the buffet.
Polish Night meant it was for polish-speaking people who wanted to dance to polish music all night.
An Asian, a Jew and an Irish Pollack who doesn’t speak a lick of Polish sat at a table listening to Poland’s top 40 while they stuck out like a sore thumb. Well at least we could go enjoy the view on the balcony… oh wait, nope because it was a monsoon outside. We couldn’t even see the skyline.
We didn’t know the music and we had no view to enjoy, but we had each other and decided to make the most of it. We chatted and caught up with each other, took photos, enjoyed the buffet and called it an early night and celebrated over brunch the next morning.
Things didn’t go as planned, but we still got what we wanted – a weekend of great memories; not the memories we anticipated having, but great nonetheless.
So after our unique celebration, it was time to get back to work. I had spent most of December mapping out my next steps and had big plans for my first quarter. But the Universe had plans of its own.
The first week in January I fell back into a relapse with my Lymes. Most of January was spent in bed, followed by 2 months of heavy meds to get me back on track.
My plans slowed down, dragging on even longer with my battles of frustrations, depression, anger at myself for not taking better care of my body, all of the things!
I ultimately accepted that things needed to slow down and I decided for the sake of my health that I needed to sell my apartment and move to a quieter area. I had been researching tiny homes for quite some time and I decided in March it was time to move forward.
Again, I planned. I had done all of the research, I had all of the components outlined, I made checklists, all of my bases were covered. Unfortunately, no matter how many bases you cover the future always holds surprises you can rarely if ever prepare for and things will inevitably not go completely as planned.
My apartment sold over Memorial Day weekend, ahead of schedule! But that meant the co-op board was about to go on summer hiatus and the selling process dragged on through October. All good things, all things that eventually got me the results I wanted.
But my plans??? Once again out the window, causing me to readjust, reassess, and realize that I have a lot less control over the future than I’d like to admit.
My stress was at an all-time high, I felt depressed, and that fraud talk was LOUD as can be.
Podcast episodes fell behind, my time blocking went out the window, and everything I was preaching was stuff I felt I was failing at daily.
But I kept moving forward. It was messy, I was messy, but there was never a time I felt like throwing in the towel. I stayed focused on why I wanted to help people, I reminded myself of who I was responsible for supporting {myself included} and every day I tried my best, even if that meant my best was giving 5% as compared to the 150% I wanted to give.
Sometimes I had to cancel appointments. Sometimes I had to apologize for missing deadlines. I was embarrassed and disappointed in myself, but I knew with so much out of my control, the only thing I could control was how I treated myself and what I chose to accept.
I had to accept, once again, that my plans were not guarantees. They were my intentions and they informed my next steps but they weren’t promises the Universe made to me or anything the Universe owed to me.
If I was and am going to reach my goals, it’s up to me to make the choice to stay flexible.
Just like when I realized at 21 years old that the one thing I spent so many years working towards was no longer what I wanted, I had to realize that life is more fluid than I may want to accept.
I don’t know about you, but I love spreadsheets. And checklists. And I love when things balance out on both sides of the paper or when all the checkmarks are ticked.
But, as good as those can feel, it doesn’t ensure success and it doesn’t promise that once things balance out you’ll get exactly what you want. You may not get what you want, or you may but it may look different than you envisioned, or you may get something you didn’t realize you wanted or, more importantly, needed.
Vision boarding, time blocking, planning – these are all important tools. They all help provide motivation, structure, and guidance. But they’re not the only tools we need. We’ve got to remind ourselves to protect and listen to our instincts and develop our abilities to pivot, think on our feet and live in the mess.
Entrepreneurship isn’t easy and it isn’t always balanced. It’s messy and unpredictable at times, but if you can make room for that mess in your planning and realize changes in your plan don’t mean you’ve failed at building your future then nothing can stop you from getting what you ultimately want.
If it helps, plan in pencil! And reflect on your plans as much as possible. Each time you make progress, or each time you feel yourself falling backwards, check in with your plans and see what needs tweaking. Call for backup, communicate with your community, hit pause.
We’re more than the plans we’ve set and one thing I’m learning more and more is that while I may not be able to control everything in my life, I can control how I react to change and I can control whether or not I embrace it or fight it.
We often forget that the journey is the biggest part of the experience; not the goal or the reward or the “end point,” but the entire time leading up to that moment. It’s also in the journey where we learn the most – what to do, what not to do, who to work with, who to stay away from, and so forth.
When you feel your control over your future slipping away realize you have a choice in that very moment – THAT is your control. So own it and do something with it. Think of your future self and try to do something that he/she/they will thank you for when it comes time.
I thank you for tuning in today, and I hope to have you back with me when Season 3 kicks off in a few weeks. We’ve got some AMAZING episodes coming down the pipeline, including interviews with Leah McHenry, Ari Herstand, and other incredible music-preneurs!
I also hope you’ll join me this December, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, December 26-31 to get our plan on in the RIGHT way!
I’m hosting a FREE 5-day virtual planning event called Planchella and I’ll be sharing EVERYTHING I’ve learned over the years not only about planning and visualizing our goals but also how to set yourself for success amidst the mess of building your own career.
It will all be hosted inside a private pop-up Facebook group and there will be bonuses galore and maybe even a guest speaker or two. But don’t worry, decreasing overwhelm is always my main goal so this series will be digestible, fun, actionable, and MANAGEABLE above all else.
We’ll be focusing on the things that matter MOST for making sure you’re ready to rock 2020 while also learning how to stay present and centered as you move forward. It’s possible and my team and I will show you how!
If you’d like to join us I’m now accepting RSVPs! Head on over to bit.ly/planchella to register and you’ll be the first to receive more information on the event as it unfolds 😀
So, if you want to make sure you know the minute Season 3 is released, be sure to SUBSCRIBE and if you want to get your PLAN on be sure to RSVP!
You can find everything you need to stay in the know for both at www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep69. You’ll even find links to schedule a FREE no-obligation call with me to get your burning questions answered and more!
And wait, before you go, I’m curious, did anything in particular hit home with you today? Did anything stick out as inspiring or surprising to you? Is there something else you’d like me to dive deeper into? Be sure to let me know! Leave a comment on the show notes page or send me an email: suz@therockstaradvocate.com.
Until next time, Rock/Star! Have a wonderful week and I hope to see you back here for next season so we can get grounded to get rising! Take care.
Key Highlights
- What plans are and are not meant to be
- How to move forward when plans don’t go as planned
- How my 2019 started
- The importance of the journey
- Planchella!
Links/Rocksources
- Theme music brought to you by DC-based Indie/Pop band Sub-Radio
- More podcast episodes can be found here
- You can download a copy of the episode’s transcript here
- SUBSCRIBE to the podcast here to ensure you’re around for Season 3!
- Wanna chat??? Schedule your call here
- RSVP FOR PLANCHELLA!!!
Thanks for listening!
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