Self-care is more than just naps.
The New Year can often cause us to take on too much too soon. In order to find balance, Suz breaks down how to determine what practices help you maintain your focus & energy and how to ensure you turn those practices into daily habits .
You’re listening to Episode 10 of the Music-Preneur Mindset Podcast.
Hello, and welcome! We’ve made it through the first full month of the podcast! I hope you’re enjoying it. You’re listening to Episode 10 – Creating Your Self-Care Routine.
I’m your host, Suz – a mindset coach to help freelancers and DIY musicians become full-fledged music-preneurs by building sustainable careers in music.
I help creatives find more structure in their day. But, it’s important to know that there will be times one can get knocked off their routine or derailed from their plans, often times losing some confidence & momentum.
As I said last week in Episode 9 – Are Pity Parties Helpful? – I often get asked, “So what’s the point of doing all of that planning and organizing when it can feel nearly impossible to maintain it?”
It bears repeating that it’s ok to fall out of sync with your ideal structure or dream routine. It’s ok to get messy and not always be organized. I do this for a living and I still fall off course and wonder how I’ll ever get back on top of things.
However, while they may not always be maintained, especially as we’re learning healthier habits, routines can serve as a guiding light and getting back into them can help us reach our goals faster than if we continued to stumble along.
Many creatives shy away from routines, afraid that the structure will prove moot or get in the way of the unpredictable way inspiration comes to them.
For music-preneurs, as soon as you decide to create a career out of your passion, certain luxuries go out the window and certain necessities become apparent – this is a business like anything else. It’s no longer acceptable to create only
“when the mood strikes.”
Carl Richards, you may have heard me mention him during Episode 8 – Knowing What to Spend Your Money On – wrote the book One Page Financial Plan. He also authored a piece in the NYT called Want to Be Creative on Purpose? and recorded a podcast episode about it on his channel Behavior Gap Radio.
In the NYT article, he quotes Chuck Close who said, “Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.”
The point being, if creating music or writing or art is your livelihood, you no longer have the luxury of simply creating when you’re inspired. It’s a crutch many lean on to say they can’t create less inspiration hits them.
There is always something to create, always something that can be said. It may not be perfect, it may need to be worked on, but if you want to create regular income from your work you must come to terms with the fact that you’ll need to create, even when you’re not in the mood.
Doing what you love doesn’t mean you love it all the time. Sometimes it can be stressful. Sometimes it can feel like work. But, having a strong foundation and structure enable you to stay disciplined and focused on taking the necessary steps to reach your goals.
Just because setbacks or unexpected things happen to us doesn’t mean we shouldn’t work at maintaining structure and balance in our lives.
That’s like new parents saying they’ve decided they’ll never sleep again because they’ve had some sleepless & worrisome nights and once children come parents rarely get a good night sleep, so why bother?
You bother because sleep is necessary. You may not always get the 8 hours you strive for, hell you may even be striving for 6 most nights. That doesn’t mean a good night’s sleep stops being something you work towards.
Same thing here – structure and balance are necessary for sustainable success. Notice I said sustainable. If you want to set a goal, go 300 mph fullspeed ahead to achieve it and then burn out, that’s your call.
If you want to get serious about building a career out of doing what you love then you’ve got to get some structure in place. So let’s start now!
Some of you may be familiar with Danika Brysha. She is a model & wellness advocate – including CEO of Model Meals & Avocago. I was recently turned onto her teachings from hearing someone mention her on another podcast, I fail to recall which one at the moment, and I came across her self-care routine that she shared on her website.
You can find access to it by visiting the Rocksources section in the show notes. I’ll read you a piece of it now. She prefaces it by saying, “These are tools, not rules.”
As with everything I share with you on this podcast, remember to take time to let the lessons and tips sink in and then apply them in a way that works best for YOU.
Danika’s self-care routine is not what you may think it is. It’s not a breakdown of the naps she’ll take or the massages she gets or what creams she uses on her face and how often.
Self-care is about the inner work. It’s the work that keeps us grounded, focused, calm, grateful, and motivated. It’s the work that enables us to keep going without getting sidetracked or discouraged too easily. It’s also the work that helps us keep our anxieties, depression, self-doubt, and negative talk at bay.
There is a lot on Danika’s list and a great thing she shares is that it was created over time.
She says, “It started with one thing on it. I would pick one monthly challenge that I committed to every day and wanted to have a box to check. January 2014 it was the Whole30. Then February it was journaling every day. March it was meditating every day… Sometimes my challenge was to add something to my life and sometimes it was to remove something that wasn’t serving me.”
This build-up is an important piece of the puzzle. Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, points out that we don’t simply get rid of a bad habit – we replace it with a new one, a better one. Human behavior is a tricky bitch, and we don’t shut certain behaviors on and off with a switch.
Habits are routines and the routines are triggered by cues and reinforced by rewards. Even those bad habits that bring you grief are still feeding you/rewarding you in some small way.
So, if you’re looking to form better habits, start with a habit you wish to get rid of, identify what actions/circumstances trigger it and what you get out of following through with it, and then choose a better habit to replace it with, as Danika has done.
Getting back to her self-care routine, over time her daily routine began to build into something she does now to start and end each day more powerfully.
Each morning she writes down her 3 main tasks she wants to complete & sets her calendar for the day, she cleans & organizes her space, she partakes in moving her body & meditating, she surrenders with a prayer for the day, acknowledges what she’s grateful for, writes out her daily affirmation and then, she says, “I write a biography of myself from the future as if someone was reading it about me, then I write a journal entry from my future describing all the happenings of my day and the feelings evoked.”
This last exercise she describes is actually very powerful and I highly recommend it. This is basically what many get wrong about The Secret – you know, that book Oprah raved about for years and then people mocked, “Oh, so I think about the million dollars I want and it comes to me?”
As I’ve touched upon in past episodes, the secret to The Secret is that it’s about getting super specific on our goals, our values, and our priorities. Danika explains such on her blog, saying, “Our thoughts become our reality. Get your thoughts to the place you want to be and your physical reality will eventually match up. I promise you.”
After her morning self-care routine, Danika goes through her day and then ends her day with her, you guessed it, End of Day routine. She writes down another thing she’s grateful for, acknowledges the day’s major takeaways, preps tomorrow’s calendar/task list, declares a daily win, and stops all work by 7pm.
I want to go back to what I said at the start of this episode – routines are structures – guidelines – they are not reality. Do I think Danika truly stops all work every day at 7pm? Of course not! She could have a photo shoot that
runs ’til 2am or she could be traveling, or a meeting can run late, etc.
But, for Danika, it’s ideal for her to aim to be done with work at 7pm. Having that boundary in place helps her make decisions when things are in her control – so if a client were to ask, “Could we meet at 8pm?” she could easily say, “NO,” because she stops work at 7pm – those are the rules.
Without that structure or forethought she may be too tempted to just keep working and neglect her need to wind down, spend time with family, etc. So if you’re someone who wishes they made better decisions in life – GET A ROUTINE!
Finally, she wraps up her day with a wind-down routine that involves shutting off all screens, meditating, reading, and logging in her progress on this self-care checklist.
Think of routines & checklists for those routines as a type of accountability system. Taking time each day to consult a checklist is a great way to ensure you’re on the right track.
It doesn’t mean berate yourself if you don’t accomplish it all. It doesn’t mean judge yourself for what happened throughout the day. It simply means you monitor your progress and understand what still needs improving the next day or down the line.
Awareness is the focus, not judgment.
Acknowledge how you’re doing and keep it moving. Keeping track of your progress should not be connected to your self-worth. You build these healthier habits to support your foundation of confidence and focus, and the journey getting there shouldn’t tear at that foundation as it’s being built.
The link to Danika’s full checklist is in the show notes. But remember her warning about taking on too much too soon. Start small and master certain habits before you fold more into the routine.
Another example of a daily self-care routine can be found using Danielle LaPorte’s Daily Ritual Worksheet. She focuses on habits that speak to various areas of your life {wellness, creativity, spirituality, and so on}. You can
find her breakdown in the show notes as well.
Routines are very personal, and you may have to test out a few systems to find what works best for you.
For today’s episode, I’ve decided to share my own version of my self-care routine. I invite you to download My Self-Care Routine worksheet and create a routine for yourself that energizes you each morning and centers you each night.
You can go to www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep10 and download the worksheet, which includes my routine checklist as well as a blank template for you to create your own.
Whether you use Danika’s list, Danielle’s worksheet, my checklist, or someone else’s system {even one you create yourself}, all that matters is that you put some time and energy into finding a daily routine that works for you when it comes to finding focus and peace, to the best of your ability, each day.
Start small. In the free download for today’s episode I’ve also included a few books and apps you can use to improve your healthy habits in a way that’s manageable.
If you have a daily routine that works for you, that’s great! I invite you to join us in the Rock/Star Collective – my private Facebook Group community of music-preneurs – to share your tips with us!
You can gain access by going to www.facebook.com/groups/rockstarcollective or by clicking the link in the show notes.
I thank you for listening to today’s lesson in navigating the ups & downs of being a music-preneur. We know the journey is never easy, but we can certainly learn ways to keep it from being harder than it has to be.
If you enjoyed what you learned today, you can access all current episodes using your podcast platform of choice, including iTunes & Spotify, or by visiting www.therockstaradvocate.com/podcast.
In the meantime, if there is any way that I can help you learn ways to stay focused & motivated, find a better work/life balance, or get some clarity on whatever it is you’re going through, I’d be more than happy to!
Feel free to email me at any time: suz@therockstaradvocate.com.
Until next time, Rockstar! Have a wonderful week and I hope to see you back here next Wednesday so we can get grounded to get rising! Take care.
Key Highlights
- A note for music-preneurs re: creativity [01:40]
- New Parents vs. Music-Preneurs [03:16]
- Danika Brysha’s Daily Self-Care Routine [04:02]
- Important tip to remember when creating a routine [05:10]
- Charles Duhigg’s tip about habits [05:41]
- Routines vs. Reality [07:52]
- Creating your own routine [09:30]
Decide what you need to do each day to feel recharged & focused to take on the day!
By downloading this freebie, you’ll be added to my weekly newsletter. You’re welcome to unsubscribe at anytime.
Links/Rocksources
- Theme music brought to you by DC-based Indie/Pop band Sub-Radio
- More episodes can be found here
- You can download a copy of the episode’s transcript here
- Want to Be Creative on Purpose? NYT article by Carl Richards is here
- Carl Richard’s The Behavior Gap Radio episode re: schedules is here
- Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit can be found here
- Danika Brysha discusses her daily self-care routine here
- Danielle LaPorte created a daily ritual worksheet here
Thanks for listening!
If you liked what you heard, help get this podcast in front of others by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review using your favorite podcast app 😉
Spotify | iTunes | SoundCloud | Stitcher | RSS Feed
