#78 | Why Routines Aren’t Working | The Rock/Star Advocate

Suz is a mindset coach for music industry professionals looking to gain clarity on their goals & find a better work/life balance.

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RockStar Advocate Suzanne Paulinski Routines

#78 | Why Routines Aren’t Working For You

New Year. New Decade. New You?

A month into 2020, let’s shed some light on why you’re struggling with upholding your routines, healthy habits, and other resolutions you’ve set for this new chapter in your life.

Routines are personal. They’re not meant to be the same for everyone.

You’re listening to Episode 78 of the Music-Preneur Mindset Podcast.

Hello! You’re listening to Episode 78: Why Routines Aren’t Working For You.

I’m your host, Suz – a mindset coach helping music professionals get clear on their goals and find the time to get it all done while maintaining a healthy work/life balance.

t’s a funny thing – that balance. It can often feel elusive, like you’ll never quite catch it. And if you do catch it, holding onto it is a whole other challenge.

No matter how many times I help music-preneurs find a structure that helps them feel more balanced, I often struggle to find it for myself. And I tell clients all the time, “The structure we build isn’t necessarily going to represent what every day will look like, but it’s a guide for where to aim your focus each day.”

Routines help with that focus. Building healthy practices into habitual routines is often the key to having a solid foundation on which to build your career. I think most of us know that, right?

We’re all aware that time-blocking and batching our work leads to better results and decreases overwhelm and anxiety, but why don’t more of us do it?

If something makes your life easier, why can it feel impossible at times to implement?

I’ve looked back at my own life this past year, when my routines and daily structure went completely out the window, and I’ve thought back to when my clients have struggled to carry out their own routines we’ve set up together and I’ve noticed it usually comes down to one of, or a combination of, three things.

I’m going to go through each of them with you in today’s episode and share a little bit about how I’ve fallen prey to each in my own way. As I go through them, I want you to think about your own situation and see which ones resonate the most with you.

Be sure to tell me in the show notes which ones you relate to most and what you’re going to commit to taking action on to change your current situation!

Head on over to www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep78 to leave me your thoughts AND download the freebie I’ve left for you to help you take that action! More on that freebie later, so stay tuned but for NOW… let’s jump into these 3 all-too-common roadblocks that keep us from honoring our routines.

The first is that you’re trying to work within someone else’s routine. It’s like that saying of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Your intentions are in the right place – find something that’s been working for someone else, likely someone you admire, and try your best to emulate their lifestyle.

I get it. In fact, I’ve done the same thing myself. I scoured the internets to find interviews and podcast episodes where my favorite badass women shared their morning routines and daily structure so that I could set up my life in the same way with the hope that my results would be just as fantastic!

But here’s the issue with that – we’re not them. And they’re not us. We may admire them and share characteristics with them, which enable us to see our future selves in them and relate to them.

That’s great! But our lives are different.

Think about the person who you think has it altogether, the person who’s life you’d love to live or emulate.

You’re likely motivated by different things, your responsibilities are different, the size of your teams are likely very different, your priorities are different, your why’s are different!

They may lead this ideal life that you want to have for yourself one day, but you can’t take on their daily routines when you’re not living their life and they likely didn’t have that exact routine before they had the life they’re currently living.

Sure, they may have had a strong foundation for building the life they now have and you’d like to begin with that same strong foundation, but just like trying to rebuild the same house in a new location – the land underneath the foundation is going to be different, the weather conditions and types of materials available may be different – it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation.

You can find inspiration from how they’ve built their life, but you must remember their life is their life and your life is your life. And while you may not be satisfied in the life you currently have, one thing will always be constant in any life you build for yourself – YOU – so YOU and what makes you you must be largely considered when creating a routine YOU will stick to day in and day out.

For years in my 20s I made the mistake of trying to emulate those I admired who were part of the 5 a.m. Club. I wanted so badly to feel like a “true leader” who got up with the Sun and took on the day.

It took me years to realize that all my failed attempts didn’t mean I couldn’t learn how to be more productive or successful, it only meant I was not built to function at 5 a.m.

Even when I managed to get up, I was useless. My brain and body would not work together no matter how hard I tried.

Once I stopped fighting it and accepted that the value in the 5 a.m. Club was that those leaders had time to themselves to practice self-care before starting their day that often began around 7 a.m., I was able to create my own self-care routine at 9 a.m. so I could focus on me before my day started around 10 or 11 a.m.

If you’re on board with me to STOP copying someone else’s routine and START building your own that is meant to serve you, let me know in the show notes page.

There you’ll also find links to Danika Brysha’s tips for what to include in a daily routine.

—> www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep78 <—

Remember, there’s a difference in doing research to get ideas of what healthy habits might serve you best and simply trying to copy someone else’s schedule that was designed to work within their specific lifestyle.

Routines are personal. They’re not meant to be the same for everyone.

If you visit Danika’s page, read through her routine and choose ONE new thing that she does that you think you’d like to start doing.

Meditating may not be your thing. Maybe tapping is, or journalling, or therapy, or painting, or something else entirely. If it centers you and brings you peace, great!

Having a morning routine may not serve you, you may be someone who benefits more from a nightly routine or giving yourself flexibility to get certain important tasks done that feed you throughout the day whenever you’re moved to complete them.

There is no RIGHT answer, there’s only what works for you and you won’t know what works if you don’t make the decision to START. And that brings us to our next common roadblock: a HUGE reason we fall out of our routines is because we’ve made them too complicated that we don’t start and/or too time consuming that we don’t sustain it.

When it comes to habit-building, take one thing at a time. Don’t commit to a routine where you’ll be reading a new book each week, exercising at the gym 3x/week, cleansing once a month, meditating, journaling, writing gratitude lists, and learning a new language by your next birthday.

Pace yourself.

Start with something that can easily be built off of something you already do.

For example, for years I struggled to stay on top of taking my daily vitamins but it was easy once I kept a pill container by my toothbrush since I already brush my teeth each morning and evening. Change is hard. I’ll say it again – change is hard. Even with things that don’t feel like they should be hard – it’s still change.

In the show notes I’ve included a link to one of my favorite books, Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit. On the book’s website Charles has a fantastic video to better explain how habits work and how to make them stick!

—> www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep78 <—

Your body and mind have to be trained. It takes approximately 1 month to really digest a new habit into your routine, so build slowly.

Last year I made the mistake of committing to being practically a brand new me over night with a completely new daily structure and nothing stuck and as soon as I started tripping up I was too discouraged to keep it going.

Taking my vitamins by connecting it with something I already do regularly got easier and lately I’ve been getting my exercise routine back in motion and working it into my daily practice. I feel confident now to add in another small adjustment to my day. So throughout February I will work on implementing the next thing.

Don’t worry about knocking it out of the park, focus on getting in touch with why you’re committing to something and being clear on the impact you’d like it to have for you in your life.

Mindset is everything. So start there.

Mindset is, in fact, the third piece that often trips us up and keeps us from following through with a routines.

If you’re not 100% on board to make a change in your life, if you don’t truly believe in yourself to accomplish something, it ain’t gonna happen! You can’t say you’re gonna start a routine simply for the sake of starting one.

You must know why it matters to you and what impact you want it to have. As I said, change is never easy, so if you’ve never been someone who lives with much structure in your day, you MUST be clear why it matters to you to start.

For years I told myself I’d get better at working out and taking my vitamins. With Lymes it’s important for me to keep my body moving and to take supplements for vitamins I’m deficient in normally. But I’d always seem to keep to my self-care routine for a few days and then fall off of it for a few weeks. And then those weeks would turn into months. And then, before long, I’d be sick again and frustrated that I’d have to limit how many hours I could work or what I could say yes to in my schedule.

At the end of 2019, after dealing with health issues and a complete lack of stability in my life, I decided to commit to taking my daily vitamins and getting back into an exercise regime.

I moved my elliptical back out of storage from my grandma’s basement, I purchased a pill box that allows me to keep my vitamins in daily containers that I keep at the bathroom sink, and I’ve scheduled the time on my calendar! I had to get in the right mental space that these things MATTERED.

It wasn’t about one day of taking vitamins. It was about ensuring that I could go a full month taking these vitamins knowing that that would positively impact my energy and focus. I had to believe in the routine having an impact even if I wouldn’t feel the results immediately. And I had to remind myself why that impact mattered to me.

2019 proved too costly for me not to commit to it this year. Knowing what your ideal routine is is one thing. BELIEVING in why that routine is important and knowing how exactly it will serve you is a completely other thing.

In the show notes I’ve included my Mindset Checklist for you to download so you can get in the proper mindset for committing to your daily routine. Feel free to download it at www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep78 and if you’d like more accountability and support along the way you’ll also find a link to join my Rock/Star Slackers™ community! Rock/Star Slackers™ was created as a way to offer affordable coaching and regular accountability to music-preneurs just like you.

For $47/month you’ve got me and my team in your corner checking in with you multiple times per week to hold you accountable on your tasks plus a video call with me once per month with all the Slackers so that you can ask me your questions and learn from the questions others ask as well.

This join anytime/cancel anytime subscription service is jam-packed with exclusive bonuses and discounts and I am continually adding more to the community!

Go check out what’s in store using the link in the show notes or by setting up a call with me to discuss if it’s the right fit for you. Email me at any time to set up a time to chat! suz@therockstaradvocate.com The last thing I want to leave you with as a takeaway from this week’s episode is something that took me a while to learn – be good to you.

If you have fallen out of a routine or if you haven’t been able to commit to what you set out to accomplish, forgive yourself. You’re more than your goals, you’re more than your routines. These things exist to help us, not tear us down. In the words of the beautiful and legendary Aaliyah, “Dust yourself off and try again.”

And if something’s not working, change it. I myself have determined that committing to a weekly podcast hasn’t been working for me for some time now. With everything else I’ve committed to doing, it’s just not feasible. In order to continue giving value at the level I want to give it, I’m seeing that more often than not I’ve been turning them out every other week and that is what I’ll commit to doing from now on – biweekly episodes.

Your body and your life have a way of letting you know what’s working and what’s not, so listen up and embrace it! Make your life work for you.

You’ve got this! I’ve got this! And we’ll figure it out together.

Until next time, Rock/Star!

Have a wonderful two weeks and I hope to see you back here next time so we can get grounded to get rising! Take care.

Key Highlights

  • The first reason you’re likely not sticking to your routine
  • Want to copy someone else’s routine? Do this instead
  • How to best take on new habits
  • Why mindset is important
  • What it’s like in Rock/Star Slackers™

Links/Rocksources

  • Theme music brought to you by DC-based Indie/Pop band Sub-Radio
  • More podcast episodes can be found here
  • You can download a copy of the episode’s transcript here
  • Wanna chat??? Schedule your call here
  • Danika Brysha discusses her daily self-care routine here
  • Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit can be found here
  • JOIN US IN ROCK/STAR SLACKERS™! Learn more here
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