Ready? Set? Decide.
A quickie but a goodie. On the back of Ep 72, Suz discusses the toxicity of the word “should” and how you can take its power away.
You’re listening to Episode 73 of the Music-Preneur Mindset Podcast.
Hello! You’re listening to Episode 73: You Should Do This First.
I’m your host, Suz – a mindset coach helping music professionals get clear on their goals and find the time to get it all done while maintaining a healthy work/life balance.
The air of planning is upon us, have you felt it? Everyone gearing up for New Year’s resolutions, families planning for what gifts to get for the holiday season, and everyone you talk to seems to be planning for the next getaway before the year is up.
In fact, as you’re listening to this I’m likely en route to Guatemala. I’ve decided to work this year with MILE – Music Is Love Exchange – to bring supplies to a beautiful community – Lake Atitlan – to help them gain better access to clean water and also have access to an arts education.
It’s an incredible mission MILE has been a part of for years so if you’d like to learn more and join us in 2020, I’ve added more information in the show notes.
In the show notes you’ll ALSO find for the first time a FULL schedule for Planchella! I can’t talk about planning without mentioning my FREE 5-day virtual planning workshop series running live Dec-26-31 with an additional 31 days to catch all the replays!
The event takes place inside of a private Facebook group and each day will focus on a different 1-2 hour workshop with printouts and guides to help you get the MOST out of your 2020. So be sure to head to therockstaradvocate.com/ep73 to learn more or RSVP directly at bit.ly/planchella!
A good chunk of Planchella will be helping you identify your next steps, which brings us to today’s topic – what you should do first.
Now, I’m going to be fully transparent with you – the title of this episode was purposefully a bit misleading. You see, and I’ll call my own bullshit real fast right now, there’s never a “should do” that you want to pay attention to and here’s why:
Back in 2014, when I first invested in business coaching, my coach told me to remove “should” from my vocabulary. I kinda eye-rolled through it and thought, “Yea, ok, I know, there’s no should there’s only do or not do” or however that saying goes…
But I soon realized that what she meant was there’s no one way or right way to do something. If someone says you “should” do it this way and it doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it.
I have caught myself not only following people’s “shoulds” but doling a few out myself. I recently told a client they “should” release a record this way and then I had to stop myself and realize it’s not my job to tell someone what they should do, but rather ask them what feels right for them and then guide them accordingly.
Sure, there are things you want to avoid, and there are certain best practices you want to keep in mind and I do my best to educate people on those things when I see that they may not have all the information – but beyond that there should be no should… damn it’s really hard to not use that word to explain a point… how about this, you don’t need should in your life!
Last week’s episode on How to Know What Advice to Follow was a reminder that ultimately, YOU are the only expert on you and your career, no one else.
This week, I wanted to take it a step further. Even when you take someone’s advice you’re allowed to make edits to it. You’re allowed to tweak it, mess it up, learn new lessons from it, and so on.
Take a minute to think about all the times you hear the word “should” in a day:
“You should drink more water.”
“You should meditate.”
“You should exercise more.”
“You should always eat breakfast.”
“You should settle down.”
“You should get a ‘real job.’”
“You should hire someone.”
“You should release new music every month.”
“You should write a new song each day.”
“You should raise your prices.”
“You should grow your email list.”
“You should rebrand.”
“You should tour more.”
“You should do American Idol.”
“You should do Shark Tank.”
Ok, that last one was for my business folk out there… and the list goes on! Whether it’s in our personal life or professional, everyone has an opinion and everyone feels free to give it to us!
And that’s fine.
People usually mean well when they give advice like that. But I want you to get used to perking up whenever that word “should” appears. Get used to noticing it and then get used to questioning it.
Ever since 2014 I have’t fully deleted the word from my vocabulary, but I have become super aware of it and what it’s attached to.
The thing is, we are building our own career and future and if you give into the word “should” without questioning if it’s what you actually want or need, you’re likely acting out of fear. Fear that you don’t know any better. Fear that someone else can live your life better than you can.
And they can’t.
And you DO know better, you’ve just got to learn to trust and listen to what your body is telling you.
And remember that it’s SUPER easy for someone to dole out a suggestion or opinion. Maybe they just heard it somewhere and know nothing more than that. Maybe they made a mistake in their own life and that was their takeaway and they’re putting it on you. Maybe they succeeded at something and believe their way is the right way.
Either way, they’re not you. They’re not living your life, they NEVER ask about the circumstances you’re currently in or where you want to head before they dole out the advice and they certainly aren’t the ones who have to take the action – that’s all you.
So before you go assuming everyone else is more of an expert on you than you, remind yourself you’re the only one who’s had experience living your life so right there you far surpass the other candidates vying to make your life decisions.
I know this was a quick episode, maybe I “SHOULD” have made it longer, but it was all I had to say on the matter. So why continue just for the sake of making it longer?
You’ve got better things to do! So take this advice, if you so choose:
Stop letting “SHOULD” run your life and notice the guilt and the judgment fade away as you do.
Keep track of when the word comes up and when you take a moment to decide for yourself if something is right or not for you celebrate it! Celebrate the fact that you’re running the show and you’ve got this!
Feel free to celebrate your moment with me in the show notes or email me at any time – suz@therockstaradvocate.com!
If you’re interested in spending time learning how to listen more to your intuition and trust your own gut to reach the goals you’ve set for yourself, come join me at Planchella! Head on over to the show notes page to RSVP, leave a comment about this episode, or set up a time to speak with me for FREE: www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep73.
It’s time for me to bounce but tune in NEXT WEEK for my incredible interview with musicpreneur badass Leah McHenry!
Until next time, Rock/Star! Have a wonderful week and I hope to see you back here next week so we can get grounded to get rising! Take care.
Key Highlights
- The importance of MILE and why you “should” know about it
- All the ways we hear should
- How to be more aware of the word
- Planchella!
Links/Rocksources
- Theme music brought to you by DC-based Indie/Pop band Sub-Radio
- More podcast episodes can be found here
- You can download a copy of the episode’s transcript here
- Wanna chat??? Schedule your call here
- RSVP FOR PLANCHELLA!!!
- Learn more about MILE and how you can get involved in 2020
Thanks for listening!
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