It’s more than wishful thinking.
Sure, you’ve heard about the Law of Attraction, but do you truly understand what it means? Learn the science and psychology around this “voodoo” magic you keep hearing about and how to use it to get what you want.
You’re listening to Episode 95 of the Music-Preneur Mindset Podcast.
Hello! You’re listening to Episode 95: The WTF of Law of Attraction.
I’m your host, Suz, a mindset + productivity coach helping music professionals get clear on their goals, priorities, and next steps all while decreasing overwhelm and avoiding burnout.
I know you’ve likely already heard the phrase “law of attraction” and you’ve likely heard about the book, The Secret. And, if you’re anything like me – a born-n-raised New Yorker who’s skeptical about everything that crosses her path – you may have said to yourself, “WTF is that bullshit?”
Now that I understand how it can work for me, and it has each and every time, I decided to do an episode about what the law of attraction truly is because I see too many people, especially in the music industry, still doubting it and treating it as if it’s the law of wishful thinking, all because they’ve never really dug deep into what the law is all about.
And it’s not complicated, it’s just specific – generalizing it won’t do the trick because the deeper understanding will get lost in the mix.
I also wanted this episode to come out before my live training coming up on March 24. For those of you who have been tuning in to Season 4 these last few weeks, you may be saying, wait, wasn’t her training on March 3?
You would be correct, however due to a few personal commitments that arose, I’ve decided to push it back so that I have the proper amount of time to make it as AMAZING as can be!
So, on March 24 @ 4pm EST, I’ll be hosting a FREE 90-min live training called Tapping into Your Vision, where we’ll be learning how to rewire those limiting beliefs through the art of EFT, also known as tapping (see what I did there?), identifying our most top priorities and learning how to make time for them AND we’ll be creating a specific and powerful vision board to attract the exact energy, things, and people you want brought into your life.
You can RSVP using the link in the show notes www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep95 and/or you can go to the link in my bio on Instagram @rockstaradvo (and be sure to DM me to say hi and let me know you’ll be joining me!).
If this event is something you think you’d like to attend, today’s crash course in the WTF-ness of law of attraction will give you the exact foundation you need to understand why vision boards matter and how they work.
In fact, everyone that signs up will be getting this episode emailed to them before the event so that we don’t have to take up time at the training explaining all of this, so let’s dig in now and you’ll be ahead of the class!
I remember being back home from college and hearing Oprah’s voice on the TV saying, “We’ve got the seeeeecccrrraaaaaaattt!” Ok, maybe that wasn’t exactly what she said, but it’s something she would say, you get it.
She was promoting Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret, and telling the audience how life-changing this book was – she even did a series of episodes about it on the show. She was interviewed by the late Larry King about it and said, “The message of The Secret is the message I’ve been trying to share with the world on my show for the past 21 years. The message is that you’re really responsible for your life.”
After it was an Oprah’s Book Club Pick, you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing about The Secret and law of attraction. I personally was’t getting much sleep those days and was focused on the quickest way to burnout, so I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention, but I vividly remember hearing people criticize the message, saying, “Great, I’ll just say I want a million dollars and wait for it to show up.”
I heard bits and pieces of both sides and kept it moving. Then, years later, I hired my first coach and invested in how to create the business I had always wanted.
As you’ve heard me say on this podcast plenty of times, starting The Rock/Star Advocate was a crash course in reframing so much of my mindset and really rewiring my outlook on what was possible within the music industry.
I was coached on law of attraction, among other things, and although I tried not to let on, I was a bit skeptical. Again, I had never read much about it, but I did recall the argument about simply wishing for a million dollars and expecting it to just appear.
What I ended up learning was the science behind the “sounds-too-good/simple-to-be-true” headlines it was getting and realized it was fully aligned with everything I had learned about the brain and human behavior during my Master’s program a few years prior.
The law of attraction can most easily be understood by using the example of driving a car (and for my fellow equestrians, riding a horse):
When you learn to drive for the first time one of the things you hear the instructor repeat the most is, “Keep your eyes on the road ahead.” That’s because your hands, and your body, follow your eyes. If you look left you will begin to steer left. If you look right, you’ll begin to steer… you guessed it… right.
And if you look down at your phone you will inevitably veer off the road, which is why cell phones and other devices play a role in so many accidents. The eyes steer the body and we cannot do two things simultaneously at full capacity. Can I get a #monotasking???
Ok, so… when you’re focused on the road ahead your body then gets you where you want to go. Also remember, Gandhi’s famous, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”
This is the essence of the law of attraction. We get what we put out, we go where we put our focus.
If you believe you’ll never make any money doing music, you won’t. All of your thoughts will reflect that tenet, you’ll complain all the time how you won’t or aren’t making any money and then your actions will flow accordingly.
You’ll make more mistakes, you’ll blow more opportunities, you’ll burn more bridges, and you’ll miss more chances.
Even if you think, “Ok, I don’t think there’s any real money in this, but I’m gonna give it a shot,” NO! It won’t work. Why? Because you’ve already primed yourself to fail. You’ll focus on all the money you didn’t get, rather than the opportunities to change that result.
Remember when I said the law of attraction was aligned with everything I had learned when I earned my Master’s in Psychology? Learning and studying terms such as implicit bias, confirmation bias, and priming all helped me realize how malleable the human brain truly is and how powerful perception can be.
Take implicit bias, for example. It refers to having an unconscious preference for/against a certain group or place a stereotype on or belief about a group without being fully aware we’re doing it. We hear the term all the time when discussing the implicit bias that exists when people associate crime with poor people or immigrants.
Confirmation bias sets forth that we take in evidence/facts through a filter in a way that can support our own beliefs. Merge that with implicit bias and you often have situations like unreliable witness testimony (we see what we want to see).
Priming has to do with being exposed to certain information (or stimuli) and then having that information (or stimuli) effect the way we experience/digest subsequent information (or stimuli).
I’ve often recalled a study where they primed certain participants with the statement that when they come out of a room they will be asked to list all the objects in the room that were green.
When the participants came out and were asked what was orange they could only think about what was green – they had been primed to focus on green.
I believe we have an implicit bias when it comes to lifestyle/income and creatives/artists. We don’t see artists as any sort of elite entrepreneurs, the way we would in tech (even though Twitter’s reported it’s operating at a net loss of $8.4 million). We are entrepreneurs just the same, but the world of tech carries a perspective of much more wealth.
However, according to Investopedia, in 2019 90% of startups failed, and 21.5% failed in the first year, 30% the second year, and 50% by the fifth year. But yet we still view Silicon Valley as the birthplace of millionaires.
Musicians have a much higher success rate, and certainly a much higher sustainability rate, and yet are always viewed as the homeless vagabonds. For more fun stats about startups I’ve left a link to the data in the show notes.
I’ve also posted in the show notes a fantastic article written by JJ Ong Falling Feathers for The Songwriters Music College, the first music college in Singapore to specialize in songwriting. The pun-lover in me is having a really hard time not focusing on the irony here, but we’re gonna move along.
The article is called “Why Being a Sustainable Musician is So Much More Important than Being a Successful Musician,” and dives deeper into the topic of what it means to be successful and how you can absolutely build a life you love and sustain a comfortable lifestyle through building a career in music.
Getting back to the law of attraction, this implicit bias we have causes our confirmation bias to rear its ugly head and seek out evidence to prove our beliefs, even the unconscious ones, true. So we look at the people getting cut from The Voice or the decline in CD sales or the fractions of a penny per stream to prove the odds are stacked against someone looking to build their career in music.
We’re also primed by the industry – the industry has done a superb job at treating its artists like shit and making it all about social media numbers. All we hear about is what the labels want to see – 100s of thousands of followers, viral videos, fat email lists, and so on – and then that’s what the artists begin to chase.
You start building a career on vanity metrics and focus on the unsustainable and disengaging areas, and you’re left wondering why fans aren’t rallying behind you.
You’ve been primed to look for green and you can’t see any of the amazing orange that’s in the room, and the orange is what is going to get you where you ultimately want to be.
Bored silly with all my nerdy science terms yet?
Ok, here’s where the fun comes in – vision boards and day dreams. Let’s go back to Gandhi’s quote – it all starts with your beliefs.
NO ONE is going to want your dreams more than you. So HOW can you possibly expect people to believe you’re going to be successful if you don’t start believing it deep within your core?
There are plenty of things you can try to “fake til ya make” but this ain’t one of them. You MUST believe what you want and where you want to go is possible. You don’t have to know how you’ll make it happen, but as Mariah says, “If you believe within your soul, just hold on tight and don’t let go. You can make it. Make it happen.”
Whether you meditate on it, journal your mantras, tap into it, or (in my case) ask Alexa to make your alarm Mariah Carey’s “Make It Happen” every morning, do what you can to reinforce this belief within yourself.
The next piece of it has to do with the words you use. If you want to make money STOP making comments about how broke you are, stop complaining about how there’s no money in music, and stop rolling your eyes when only a few cents rolls in from Spotify.
When you do these things you’re putting your energy and focus on things you can’t control.
Sure, you can lobby for platforms like Spotify to pay more, but in the meantime, you don’t get to decide that, so instead focus on the fact that ANY money is coming in is great and you’ll begin to see opportunities for MORE money to come your way.
I’ve said this many times, in 2018 I dedicated myself to changing my money mindset. I had a LOT of toxic money beliefs to rewire, and scarcity mindset, or the belief that there wasn’t enough money out there for me, was one of them.
I spent a year staying dedicated to repeating my mantras and meditating/tapping on these new, healthier beliefs around money. I’m not saying it takes a year to do this, but I am what we call a slow digester… so to each their own.
By 2019 I was working with my fave, Jamie Jensen, and she helped me realize some deeper feelings and beliefs I was holding onto around money (there’ll be more about that in my upcoming book later this year). I had made great headway, but I still needed to let go of some toxic weight.
By 2020, yes… that lovely year, I was actually able to make more and continue growing my business into 2021, recently ending my best month yet with a healthy cash flow projection for months to come.
I’ve now primed myself to see more opportunities, focus on my confidence in selling what it is I offer (something I had 0 confidence in the not-so-distant past), and realize the type of person I can have the most impact on so I can put myself in the right situations to help the right people in the right way.
I’ve ATTRACTED the right opportunities into my life because I know what it is I’m looking for and why.
Now, the law of attraction is not just about money. The law relates to all areas of your life. To illustrate another example, let’s look at dating. I’m about to get real real here so get ready…
Pre-pandemic I had reached out anonymously during a live training hosted by a friend of mine, a relationship coach, Star Edwards, to ask a question – why was I only hitting it off with married dudes?
Now… let me be CLLLLEAAAR – I have never ever gotten involved with a married guy. And I wasn’t “hitting it off” romantically with these guys who were married. I just kept finding myself in situations where it felt like every time I hit it off with someone who didn’t make me want to run into oncoming traffic, it would turn out they were married (and not at all hitting on me) and all the single guys were talking to other girls… like WTF law of attraction?!
I was so sure I’d have stumped her – I was never attracted to the idea of being “the mistress” and the guys I was clicking with were not AT ALL being sleazy, we were just clicking as friends.
But where were the single guys who would click with me?
She cut right through me in an instant. She said, “You’re not going to these places open to meeting a great, single guy. You’re going in primed to meet idiots who make you want to run into oncoming traffic so your energy is saying SHUT DOWN and the married dudes are like AWESOME a chick I can kick it with who is shut down and clearly not interested in meeting someone, so she’s safe to talk to.”
She nailed it. And I started being more aware of what I was attracting by getting clear on what it was I WANTED, and not focusing on what I didn’t want.
I wrote on a piece of paper the exact type of person I was looking for and I soon found myself in a positive experience with another single. I’ve now reached the point where I stop talking about my personal life, but it was proof that focusing on what you WANT and not on what you don’t want works.
The law of attraction is no more complicated than Parkinson’s law, which states work expands to fill the time you give it. With the law of attraction, you get what you give. If you give out energy of abundance and faith and confidence, you’re going to attract the bigger opportunities in your life that meet that same energy.
If you believe it’s not possible, you’ll find plenty of evidence to prove you right. But, the same works on the flip side, so why not CHOOSE to believe it’s possible and find all the evidence you need to prove that’s right?
If you get anything from today’s episode I hope that it’s the fact that you have the power (and as Oprah says, the responsibility) to choose your future. It doesn’t mean it will be easy and it doesn’t mean it won’t take time and dedication. Remember, changing your beliefs will cause your thoughts, words, actions, etc. to change as well so you’ve got to be open to change before you can be open to reaching your goals.
Be willing to put in the work with an unshakable faith that your efforts will pay off and you’ll shock yourself at what is possible. Take it from a former workaholic cynic – you can do this.
If you’d like to continue this work be sure to sign up for my free training on 3/24 – Tapping Into Your Vision – and over the course of 90 mins we are going to create a vision board for you that will get you clear on EXACTLY what it is you’re looking to attract, as well as set the right priorities that are going to help you get there.
RSVP using the sign up form in the show notes page: www.therockstaradvocate.com/ep95 and come ready to work and ready to transform.
This isn’t a wish-it-into-existence practice – this is a get clear on where you’re going practice.
Prime yourself for what you want and go out there and take it!
Thank you so much for listening and if you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe on your platform of choice as I’ll be back every week with a brand new episode! And if you like what you’ve heard I’d love it if you’d rate, follow, leave a review, or share from your favorite platform.
Until next time, Rock/Star. Keep planning, keep learning, and I hope to see you back here next week so we can get grounded to get rising! Take care.
- Join me for a Tapping Into Your Vision webinar on March 24th at 4:00pm EST
- What the law of attraction is
- Why Oprah became obsessed with Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret
- How the Law of Attraction is more than just “wishful thinking”
- What implicit bias, confirmation bias and priming are plus how they all impact your brain and decision making processes
- How working with different coaches was vital in my success as a business owner and entrepreneur
- Why getting clear on your vision is crucial for making progress toward your goals
- How the different areas of your life are impacted by the Law of Attraction
- What are YOU currently attracting into your life?
- Tell us in the comments below!
- Theme music brought to you by DC-based Indie/Pop band Sub-Radio
- More podcast episodes can be found here
- You can download a copy of the episode’s transcript here
- Our Sponsor: Tapping Into Your Vision webinar on March 24th at 4:00pm EST below and get my From Flustered to Focused Checklist when you sign up!
- “How Many Start Ups Fail and Why?” by Investopedia
- “Why Being a Sustainable Musician is So Much More Important than Being a Successful Musician” by JJ Ong Falling Feathers
- Wanna work together?? Schedule your call here
Thanks for listening!
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